


let the brokenness be felt 'til you reach the other side

by AgentBuzzkill



Series: Fic Requests [14]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Descriptions of war and ptsd, Flashbacks, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-17
Updated: 2015-03-17
Packaged: 2018-03-18 06:33:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3559691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentBuzzkill/pseuds/AgentBuzzkill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The nights in the wake of war are never easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	let the brokenness be felt 'til you reach the other side

**Author's Note:**

> From a songfic prompt by the lovely Caboose Anon: "DRABBLE YOU SAY? HOW ABOUT CHURCHINGTON TO MARS BY SLEEPING AT LAST? -CA"
> 
> I highly recommend checking out the song, it's very beautiful.
> 
> This fic also has somewhat graphic but also very brief descriptions of war. Please be warned.

The nights are always so long. Moments of peaceful sleep before flashes of hot sand and scorching sun. Dreams that shift into memories until Church has no idea what’s real and what isn’t.

He knows the voices of his men around him. The feeling of the truck moving along the unsteady road. He can clearly recall Wash sitting beside him, saying something he doesn’t quite catch.

Things get hazy after that. 

Because on some nights a landmine is triggered and his head is nothing but noise. Sometimes he can’t feel his legs and there’s blood in his mouth and he can’t see Wash, can’t find Wash, and he hears the cries of his men around him and his own screams, desperate to see anyone through the dust surrounding him. He can hear Wash’s distant voice calling out for him. He’s reaching, his own hand the only thing he can make out in the sudden darkness, and then he wakes up with a violent shout. On other nights Wash is with him the whole time. He finds him almost immediately, suddenly able to crawl to his voice, and the sight that greets him is one that makes him want to be violently ill. But he gathers what’s left of Wash up as best as he can, cradles him close as Wash trembles and says that he wants to go home. Church tries to comfort him, he holds him until the trembling stops, and it seems that when Wash sills the entire worlds stills with him, and it’s only after Church is hit with the deepest, most terrifying loneliness he’s ever felt that he manages to open his eyes and frantically grope for Wash’s hand beside his.

No matter what kind of night it is, the one constant is Wash’s calm form next to him. They don’t talk much about the dreams they both have (if Church had to guess, Wash’s would probably be similar to his anyway). They just try to reassure each other. They help each other work out what’s real and what isn’t. They remind each other that the war had ended, that though they were on the front lines neither had suffered any serious bodily injury. They assure them that they’re not dreaming. Sometimes, if it seems that they’re not going to get any more sleep that night, they’ll turn on all the lights in their apartment’s tiny living room and curl up on the couch together. They’ll watch mindless comedies and try to laugh. 

Church will card his hand’s through Wash’s hair. He’s always liked Wash with longer hair. Now that they’ve left the army, Wash’s hair is a record of the time that’s passed. A testament to how long they’ve made it together on the other side of the war. Wash’s hair was long when they’d first met, too, at a recruiting information session. They were both wide-eyed and too eager to go to battle. They’d shared dreams of making their families proud, of laying their lives down for their country.

It was a little different when they’d actually been shipped off to war. They discovered that quickly. 

But they are still so young, both just barely in their thirties, and Church has to wonder what they are going to do. A new world is spreading out in front of them, the long expanse of their lives they still have yet to live, and Church is fiercely thankful that he has someone at his side.


End file.
